MOVIE REVIEW #2 - Blood Freak

MOVIE REVIEW #2

Blood Freak (1972)

THE PLOT (cause what's a movie without a plot? STOLEN FROM IMDB.COM): A biker comes upon a girl with a flat tire and offers her a ride home. He winds up at a drug party with the girl's sister, then follows her to a turkey farm owned by her father, a mad scientist. The father turns the biker into a giant turkey monster who goes after drug dealers.

RUNNING LENGTH:1 hour 20 minutes

HOW MANY BEERS THROUGH MOVIE: 24 cans. Drank really fast.

Who loves turkey?

Not drug addicts if they are in this cult classic (suggested to me by a good friend. She told me I needed to buy a huge turkey and cook it before watching this but instead I went with the clerk's suggestion when I told her what I was doing tonight and instead bought a huge bag of weed, the Devil's cabbage and will be smoking it instead before feasting on this lovely film, showing that the 1970s wasn't just about discos and bell bottom pants!!

CLICK HERE FOR THE FULL VERSION OF THE MOVIE -----  Blood Freak ----- IF YOU DARE!!!! EVIL LAUGH!

First off, the opening scene, is just, how do I put this without seeming biased, I'm only 54 seconds into the film and already I am amazed at the script, a master piece of sight and sound and wood paneling from a by gone era. 

I bet if they pan down to the actor's feet, we will see orange shag carpet and be replanted into our parent's basement in 1973!

We would be drinking luke warm Squirt and playing pong or with ourselves as boys and girls did back in the 1970s.

Those who didn't were commie aliens from Planet Zod and needed to be executed as dictated by law.

True story.

The actor staring into the camera, reading his lines, sounds like my Uncle Earl and looks like him too. I have a feeling they got my Uncle Earl to do this film for a bottle of Jack and some weed.

He worked cheap but he wasn't a cheap actor.

He'd laugh as he said that line and then pass out muttering something about Elizabeth Taylor owing him a blow job as Ronald Reagan watched.

Apparently the 1960s were a hell of a ride.

"So was Liz!" my uncle says laughing and then passing out again.

The thing that will hit you is the sound track, right at the beginning, it makes you want to dance or go out and kill some drug addicts while you're dressed as a demonic turkey!!

I don't know how many movies forget this key ingredient but a lot do, music can make a shitty movie great and a great movie worth shit.

"Show em your penis!!" Uncle Earl says dying on the living room floor.

Shaddup!!!

Anyways, you want a movie with cars? And a motorcycle? Right there at the opening credits. With the nifty sound track.  What more could you want?

Written, directed and starred in by STEVE HAWKES!!! (Rest in peace! During my research of this great movie discovered Steve passed away in June 24th, 2019 ---- maybe in another blog we'll dig deeper into Steve.) CAN YOU DIG THAT???

The party scene ---- every great movie has to have a party scene. With really nifty sweaters.  The 70s kids were all about nifty sweaters.

Best line so far ---- This place is like a mad house. Some of my sister's friends are a little far out.

Boy are they!!!

"Some of them are heavy into the drug scene!" girl says to Steve's character

"You mean they smoke pot? Steve's character replies, innocently, oh so innocent is he, but I'm feeling soon it will all change.

For the best!!

Remember kids, no matter what people say to you, one little toke WILL hurt you!!!! Don't listen to the sexy lady sitting in the chair at the party!

Apparently, at the party, we are introduced to the bible, sneaky movie. "God wouldn't mind if I went to bed with someone, even if I'm with someone!" No Random Lady at party, he would mind, a lot! Now give me that heroin and lets dance.

BEST ACTING EVER!!!!

The delivery of lines is out of this world, so natural, in their flow.  It's like watching old people have intercourse while driving high speed through a twisting and turning tunnel, you'll be amazed at how long you'll watch.

What more can I say? Awesome acting, dialogue to make you wonder what, and turkey! Lots and lots of turkeys.

I give this 15 stars out of 4.  Go watch it now!!!

Good night from Appalousa Turkey Farm and Rehab Clinic.

Join us next time when we watch probably something else.